Both Jesus and Mary love wood. Here’s a selection and if you’re still not convinced that the heavenly pair are making cameo appearances, then there’s no hope for you.
The Church of Our Lady of Velankanni, in Mumbai, has a statue of Jesus with water – it must be holy water – trickling down from the toes. This blessed water is collected and the church is a site of pilgrimage.
However the miracle was caused by faulty plumbing and not divine intervention.
The noted Indian rationalist, Sanal Edamaruku, came for a look ….
I had a close look at a nearby washroom and the connected drainage system that passed underneath the concrete base of the cross. I removed some stones from the drain and found it was blocked. I touched the walls, the base, and the cross and took some photographs for documentation. It was very simple: Water from the washroom, which had been blocked in the clogged drainage system, had been transmitted via capillary action into the adjacent walls and the base of the cross as well as into the wooden cross itself. The water came out through a nail hole and ran down over the statue’s feet.
The backlash against Edamaruku’s conclusions was swift and strong.
He has been accused of insulting religion (a charge akin to blasphemy) under Section 295A of the Indian penal code, which charges a person with “deliberately hurting religious feelings and attempting malicious acts intended to outrage the religious sentiments of any class or community.”
Death threats followed, and Edamaruku was forced to seek exile in Finland.
I can’t tell you much about this one, probably because there isn’t much to tell.
It’s an iron. It’s in a house in Boston, USA. It was manufactured for the Wal-Mart house brand, with a basic dial for fabric settings and a steam/dry switch.
It has a scorch mark. It must be Jesus. At least, according to Mary Jo Coady.
Coady didn’t give her iron a second thought until she saw a likeness of Jesus staring back from its not-quite stainless steel bottom. Startled, she took a picture and posted it on her Facebook page, giving friends and relatives the same test. And all of them saw Jesus!
I can’t comment. I don’t have an iron.
In another Holy World Tour gig, the face of Jesus has appeared on a three-cheese pizza made in Newfarm, Brisbane. Holey-Moley!
And the image could have been yours if you made the highest bid on eBay. Someone is enjoying it anyway.
It’s already proven a good luck charm. After discovering the image, the manager of the pizza parlour parked in a loading zone and didn’t get a parking ticket!
Australian Skeptics vice-president Richard Saunders put the apparition down to random chance. Where’s your sense of wonder, Richard?
She’s turned up again. The BVM just can’t help herself from manifesting to awestruck mortals the world over.
Not content with recreating her appearance in melted chocolate, potatoes and rancid fat, she has given the world a new face on a “pool stick”.
If any reasonably endowed person can actually see the BVM on the whatever-it-is then it’s odds on that someone may just be mug enough to make a bid.
She may be popping up with dreary regularity, but searching for a cowled female shape on mundane objects certainly makes a change from all the alien abductions we saw a few months back.
Devout Catholic Patty Powell picked up a fibreglass statue while passing through Bangkok, took it home, stuck it on a shelf and then forgot about it. But, in the middle of a hearty Spring Clean, he discovered a miracle. The statue was crying.
Someone like myself, a little slow on the uptake in the mornings, would put it down to delirium brought on by the effort of waving a feather duster around, but Patty is made of sterner stuff.
People are queuing up to see the statue. Apparently it’s giving great comfort to the sick and dying.
Mind you, I’ve seen some rather nice bits and pieces from Bangkok in my time, but nothing that would give me much comfort on my death bed. It only goes to prove that there’s no accounting for taste.